mamtc

mamtc

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Lembas bread - AkshayaPatra/Pandhavas and Mjollnir/Thor

Remember Lords of the rings, Waybread or Lembas bread made by Elves? Any grown man can eat not more than 4 max? And the bread never runs out?

Thor's Mjollnir and the goats :
Thor's hammer was one of that kind. It served as a multipurpose tool. Whenever he got hungry, he would kill his two ever-replenishing goats Tanngrisnir -"teeth-barer and Tanngnjostr "teeth grinder". These goats they pull Thor's chariot.
And after meal and a heavy nap he will put the bones and hide together and hit the hide with his hammer the next morning and the goats will resurrect to life without any reminiscence of the mishap.
The goats that was "served" the before night will continue to "serve" the next day.
Catch:
The catch is,  you arent supposed to eat the hide or the bones. You can eat only the meat. You cant break the bones as well.
Mishap:
Thor even got two servants Roskava and Pjalfi for life as out of court settlement when Pjalfi broke the bone to suck the marrow during its role as dinner which left the goat's leg lame after rebirth.


Pandhavas's Akshayapatra:
It was a wonderful vessel given to Yudhishthira by the Lord Surya, which held a never-failing supply of food to the Pandavas every day.
During their exile period, Draupati the single wife of five brothers will cook food in that vessel and it could serve any number of people.
As per mythology any Kshatriya isnt supposed to send any person with empty stomach and all hermits and sages should thrive on panhandling.
Catch:
After Draupati finished her meal and it is washed and turned down for drying it cant revive food after sundown, only the next morning it can start it's inexhaustible meal process.
Mishap:
Once, couple of sages were sent to Draupati's abode past her meal time,she felt helpless because she didnt want to accumulate the wrath of the sages by denying them dinner.
When they left to take bath for their meal, Lord Krishna came down to save Draupati and he picked the left out single grain from the vessel(Draupati didnt wash it properly) and said "I am good" and that filled his stomach and the entire world's hunger and thereby the sages were no longer hungry and they left without their meal and Pandhavas didnt have to accumulate the wrath.

Moral of the story :
1.If you cant cook or clean, cook a story to make it look like it is a good sign. Blame the fate and destiny.
2. PETA and all newschannels could leave the Trump family and their Africa hunting spree photos and could start the new quest to bring Thor's goats along with his hammer from Asgard to Earth.

There are lot of old-wives tales like this in India for women to escape from their compromised hygiene, compromised cooking etc.,
1. If you happen to find hair in your meal, it means that the bonding between you and your guest is going to last forever.
2. If the food tastes too salty, it means that the cook is horny, you may get lucky with the cook that night.
3. Overflowing milk and rice are good because it may bring prosperity.
4. If your wife eats after you and in same plate as yours without washing, it means that she is very much in love with you, way deep.
5. If you cough during mealtime it means that someone is thinking of you.
6. If you empty the last drop you may marry an attractive spouse.
7. If you spill kumkum,vermilion it is a good sign.
8. Dont pick hairballs of someone else's. If you let them pick then the person to whom the hair belongs to and person who cleaned both may start to fight. To avoid altercation avoid cleaning.
9. Men arent supposed to shave or cut their hair, if their wife is pregnant. [This I think is tit for tat. Maybe to make them look less attractive during the unattractive period of knocked up wives]
10. Dont dressup or comb hair after sunset. [maybe due to limited visibility or maybe due to practice of Indian Geishas-Dasis who dress up during night time alone for their orgies]

Some of the English excuses I know
1. If girls eat the crumbs then she may have chest hair once she grows up.
2. Keeping weddingcake under the pillow to get vision of future husband? [I think again is excuse for all lazy obese ladies obessed with cake and wedding]

18 comments:

  1. Some of those old wives tales are nasty, hair in food, umm ewww. Geez Thor had it made, never run out of food or have to search for a meal.

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    1. True that. And Thor's hammer- good one right? Maybe PETA could give up running behind this Trump family for Africa hunting and start a quest in search of Thor's hammer?

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  2. That could probably drive a man insane killing the same goats over and over again! What if he became attached to the goats and loved them? "I love you goat by I'm going to kill you and eat you."

    The idea is cool though. The never ending amount of food...my kind of dream!

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    1. You make a good point. As a true sinner of gluttony, I totally approve that message. The same goats, same taste. And over and over again?
      Being attached - but if I can bring them to life tommorrow morning why care?

      Have you ever cried over your nails or hair while trimming them?

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  3. Reading some of those excuses made me realize that there are probably very few East Indian restaurants with a 3 Michelin Star rating.

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  4. lololoool some of these Indian rules I'm gonna keep to heart. Especially that salt one.

    Hey, one never knows when such a memorized factoid can lead to a delicious tryst, y'knowwhatImean?

    And yeah, the goats thing is what I had mentioned in a previous commentary, when Odin, Loki, and Thor were palling around on earth in that goat-drawn chariot. And indeed, the father of those two servants fed everyone but his son on the goat meat but he son, hungry and didn't get enough to eat, indeed cracked open the leg bone for the marrow.

    Sure he got his ass whupped up on, but hey - he and his dad became the servants of one of the most noted gods in any pantheon. Can't tell me all them comics ain't doin' anything for him, y'knowwhatImean?

    Also, screw PETA. Killing and eating those goats do nothing since a simple hammerblow bring them back. Now how's THAT for using violence as a solution, eh? Eh?!

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    1. Thank you Bastard. I didnt know why he cracked the bone to eat the marrow. Totally agree on the comics thing. They teach lot of stuff normal textbooks cant right?

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  5. lol oh was actually talking about homer and his plays at work the other day. as for thor. hes awesome. and the movie was pretty good too.

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  6. I wish I had some Lembas bread

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  7. The first moral is awesome. And some of the Indian excuses sound kinda familiar.

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  8. I love the salt one! I mean it could be true... maybe someone was so horny while cooking that they ended up adding too much salt because they were distracted. Ahahaahah

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    1. hahaha. may also be used as a tool in arranged marriage by the marriable age girls at home who want to send message to parents to look for an alliance?

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  9. I like the idea of Thor in small-claims court demanding restitution for the lame leg of his ever-replenishing goat. Also, the moral of the story with the Trump kids was hilarious.
    Those "excuses" cease to be excuses when they are that clever. For #9, if the guy just gets fat, can he get a haircut?

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    1. thank you Pickleope. Fat guy, I think he should get haircut.

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  10. How does a person keep cake under their pillow?! That seems kind of messy.

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    Replies
    1. Are you into an Indian woman? Out of all things how did this cake thing alone sounds messy to you?

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  11. I laughed out loud at the salty food bit. My wife always makes her food so salty. I thought it was a bad thing, but now you're telling me she's just trying to say she wants me? I'm sold!

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