Orpheus and Savitri - Bring back the dead

Orpheus - In greek mythology, Orpheus was madly in love with his wife Agriope/Eurydice  who died when she accidently slipped into nest of vipers. He was lamenting and mourning very hard and then took trip to underworld. There he pleaded hard to Hades and his wife Persephone.
They were moved by his plea and his "heavenly" music in "hell" and agreed to send his wife back up to Earth-upperworld on a condition. Which was, he wasnt supposed to look back at her till they reached the upper world and she was to follow him.

He set off with Eurydice following, and, in his anxiety, as soon as he reached the upper world, he turned to look at her, forgetting that both needed to be in the upper world, and she vanished for the second time, but now forever.

Savitri - In Hindu mythology, Savitri married Satyavan knowing for fact that he was destined to die within a year from then. After marriage they lived in a forest and before three days on death she started to fast.
On the day of death, the hindu Hades- Yama arrived and claimed the soul of her husband Satyavan, and  she followed Yama to claim the soul back all the way to hell. Yama pleased by her diligence and her clever wits offered to grant her a wish other than her husband's life. But she didnt seem to back down and after second plea and Yama missed the "except" part and since he is a god and who cant go back on his words, had no other choice but had to grant her the wish and Satyavan  was brought back to back to life.

In the first wish she asked Yama for 100 kids to be born to her and her hubby. Think about it. If he had died he might have reached heaven instead she brought him back and made his life hell with 100 kids. 100 people 100.

Moral of the story : And only sinners are to take rebirth in earth to atone for the sins commited in the pervious births. Death is atonement for the sins commited as per Hindu mythology.

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Moses and Vasudev - Water dividers

Moses:
During birth of Jesus, all the babies born were ardered to be killed by the king.

Moses led people eastward and during the journey he was caught between devil( the army of the king) and deep sea(red sea). In order for them to cross and escape and proceed God divided the waters and let the people walk through and then closed it again.

His faithful follower Joshua inherited that talent as well.

Pic from here

Vasudev: During birth of Krishna, all the babies born were ordered to be killed by the king Kamsa- Vasudev's brother-in-law.

Just like the divine voice that advised Joesph to accept virgin mom Mary, Vasudev also heard divine voice saying  "Take this child across the Yamuna River to Gokul and exchange him with Yashoda’s daughter. You will return to the prison before anyone comes to know about the birth of this child."

And in order to save the baby from getting killed, Vasudev carried the baby Krishna in a basket on top of his head and when he had to cross the flooded river Yamuna.

And it was quite flooded that time and yet the water parted and gave Vasudev way to proceed with the baby and the fiveheaded snake acted as an umbrella and prottected the baby from getting wet.

Vasudev  reached the opposite bank of the river safely and found all the people of Gokul fast asleep.

 He entered the palace of king Nanda and queen Yashoda, and put the baby Krishna in the place of Yashoda’s baby girl. Then Vasudev returned to the prison with the baby girl.

Moral of the story : The world's best invention to me is paternity/DNA testing. Think about all the these old wives tales.

Medusa/Basilik and Sani - Dont look in the eye

Whereas Shiva and Parvati try all legitimate ways to take over them.

Medusa and Basilisk - It is advised to avoid eye contact with basilisk the hybrid serpent and snake haired Medusa and hindu mythology's Sani-Saturn. All these folks are evil eyed. If you see all the stories in hindu mythology they have a pattern, all these badguys take non-violence path and fast for days till god shows up. The pleased god or goddess shows up and fulfills their blessings except immortality. The moment they get that, these guys imprison the milksop devas[lessergods] and create chaos in the world. And then the devas run forlife and beg to alpha gods to save them. The trickster Vishnu would always savethe devas by hook or crook.
Same, like kid denying to eat till he gets his xbox :)

Sani :Ravana,Srilankan asura king, took control of heaven and brought down all the nine planets (as per hindu mythology sun and moon are also considered as planets) and put them face down on his nine steps to his throne and walked on them to humiliate the gods.
Narada-trickster cajoles Ravana to put them on their back to show his virility by walking on their chest instead of their back. The bad guyRavana does that and when Sani's evil eye gazes him,he becomes victim of thebad luck. It starts with kidnapping and rest is history. Yeah.literally , heardabout story of Ramayana?
Moral of the story: Never yield to fasting trick. Let them stay hungry or put them on timeout.

Loki vs Baldur/Hoor and Rama vs Vali/Sugrivan - Accomplice in fratricide

Loki and Baldur/Hoor  - In norse mythology, Baldr-was the most handsome youth. He had a visually-handicapped brother named Hoor.

He was having nightmares about his death so,his mommy Frigg asked everyone and everything to swear that they wont kill her son. She didnt ask mistletoe since it seemed too young to ask for an oath.

Loki - the trickster made a weapon using mistletoe and guided Baldr's blind brother Hoor to shoot at his own brother during the gods playful test of Baldur's invulnerability. Unwittingly Hoor killed his brother because of the trickster. Balder's wife fell down dead of grief at the pyre, so her body was placed beside her husband's.
Later in revenge Odin and Giangatess gave birth to "Vali?" who grew to adulthood in one day and slayed Hoor.



Pic from here

Rama and Vali/Sugrivan - Sugriva and his brother Vali were half-monkey half-men.  Sugriva and Vali became arch enemies after a minor misunderstanding. Vali by penance acquired boon from Brahma that in any fight, Vali would acquire half of his opponent's energy and skills. Sugriva tricked Vali by challenging him for a duel and he fell right into trap.

Rama - slayed him behind his back , literally. Rama hid behind a tree and made Sugriva wear a garland(Sugriva and Vali both looked alike - why didnt he try blue trunks and red trunks like the vegas boxers?-I dunno) and killed Vali behind his back.

After slaying his brother Surgriva claimed his wife Ruma who was early kidnapped by Vali and in addition to Vali's wife Tara.

Looks like Sugriva was a true christian. "Go in unto thy brother's wife, and perform the duty of a husband's brother unto her, and raise up seed to thy brother" . The brother gets the wife after his brother's death, doesnt matter if it suicide,homicide or fratricide.

First he followed first brother of the world Cain and killed slayed his brother Vali(Abel) ;-)

Not just the name Vali one another striking similarity in this story is, in same Ramayana, like Frigg , Ravana - the antagonist by penance acquired a boon  by giving entire list of things, people by which he cant be killed and missed one entity "human" in that list. And Vishnu took human avatar "Rama" and killed him.

Moral of the story:  Always review the list, doesnt matter whether it is grocery list or hitlist to avoid all sort of repercussions later.

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Wolves-Hati and Skoll and Serpent-Rahu and Kethu - Eclipse story

Hati and Skoll - As per Norse mythology, these two are giant wolves because of whom we get night and day. Hati Wolf chases moon (God Mani) all through the night and Skoll wolf chases sun(Goddess Solveig) all through the day to eat them since Loki tricked them saying sun and moon were tasty eatable dishes.

And sometimes when Hati manages to capture the moon, it results as lunar eclipse and when Skoll happens to capture sun we get solar eclipse.

Rahu and Kethu - As per hindu mythology, during milk churn process one of the Asuras Sukracharya managed to disguise as Deva and drank the immortality nectar. The planets (snitches) Sun and Moon happened to notice the trick and complained about him to Vishnu.

And Vishnu acted immediately and chopped of the daemon. But it was already too late and he had already swallowed the nectar and he was immortal. So, the chopped head attached itself to a serpent's body and came to be known as Rahu and the torso attached itself to head of snake and came to be known as Kethu.

Rahu and Kethu chase moon and sun and when Rahu manages to swallow the moon it results in lunar Eclipse and when Kethu manages to swallow the Sun it results in solar Eclipse.

Looks like viking wolves are chasing sun and moon for food and the indian snakes are chasing sun and moon to take revenge and both sun and moon are evading from them in their chariots in both mythology.
Sun is a gal in Norse mythology and a guy in hindu mythology. So, the questions is who is sun? A son or daughter?

Moral of story : Think twice before becoming a snitch.Snitches and informants always need to lead the life on the run around the orbit.



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Brokkr/Loki and Karnan/Indra - Bee-come-a-fly

Brokkr/Loki - In norse mythology, Loki bet his head to create treasures for gods between dwarves (Eitri & Brokkr). The dwarves were to compete to create precious treasurers. The winner was to get Loki's head. Sons of Ivaldi created Gungir-Odin's spear and Skioblanoir- Freyja's boat.
To create more precious than the above and to slice Loki's head Eitri and Brokkr diligently engaged in creating Draupnir-Odin's ring and Mjollnir-Thor's hammer.
Loki to avoid the win and in the fear of losing his head, turned to a fly and bit Brokkr on arm, neck, and eyelids.
Brokkr endured all the pain and suffering and blood and continued his blow except a short halt when his brother Eitri was making those invaluable treasures.
The dwarves finally won the bet.

Karnan/Indra - In Mahabharatha, the antagonist Karna disguised himself as a Brahmin to learn cavalry and archery tricks from divine guru Parasuram. Parasuram swore not to teach Kshatriyas. One day Karnan offered his lap as pillow to his guru's siesta. While Parasuram was wide asleep, a bee stung and bore a hole in Karnan's thigh, the bee was none other than Lord Indra(Hindu Zeus).
Lord Indra to prevent Karnan from learning the tricks, disguised himself as a bee and stung him. Karnan endured all the pain and blood and made sure that his Guru's sleep wasnt disturbed.
He was very much devoted and loyal to his guru. The blood disturbed the sleep and Parasuram after waking up immediately cursed his star pupil that he would forget all the spells(mantras) in time of need though he endured that agony only not to disturb his teacher's sleep. And Indra won the bet and his mission was accomplished.
Parasuram cursed him saying that Karnan cheated him and Karnan wasnt a Brahmin because only a Kshatriya could be so brave and endure so much pain and suffering.

Brahmins are vegetarians. There is no place in sports and war for vegans :)

Moral of the story : Want to become a nerd/geek, eat your veggies; want to become a athlete/warrior, eat your meat. ;)

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Thor/Thrym and Krishna/Koothandavar - Guys disguised and offered as brides.

Thor - Thor's hammer got lost. When they investigated it came to light that king of  the giants Thrym had stolen it. He agreed to trade the hammer for Freyjha as his bride.

She obviously declined to be the bride of the biggest, stupidest, ugliest giant on the earth.

Without much options with Loki's help Thor was disguised as bride and his face was covered with veil and was presented before the giant. For every suspicion, Loki had some readymade not so convincing answers yet Thrym bought those answers.

In the excitement before exchanging vows he placed the hammer near "bride in disguise" knees and Thor immediately grabbed it and hit Thrym hard on his head and the giant fell dead
Krishna - Mohini is more like Kirsten Wiig of SNL. Whenever there was trouble, hindu gods always dressed up Lord Vishnu as Mohini.
To win Mahabharatha war, a perfect sacrifice had to be offered to Goddess Kali. The potenial suitors were Krishna, Arjuna and Aravan- Son of Arjuna. Since the former two were irreplacable, Aravan/Koothandavar was chosen.
As per hindu mythology, married souls alone get moksha(redemption) so Aravan wished to get married before his sacrifice.

Just not Freyja, no women was ready to marry the guy who had been chosen to be offered as sacrifice nextday.

So, they did the next best thing, dress up a male as female and send him as bride to marry the rejected soul.
So, Mohini -  One of chief gods of Hinduism -Vishnu's female avatar offered to marry him. So Mohini and Aravan got married the before day and completed all formalities and next day he was killed as sacrifice.
In India, in Koovagam in Tamilnadu, this event is celebrated as major festival by all eunuchs around month of April/May. All the eunuchs gather together on that particular day and every eunuch considers itself as Mohini and the priest pretends to be Aravan and marries each eunuch by tying the knot and they celebrate the wedding and next day mourn for the death of their husband(?!) Aravan.

Moral of the story : "India isn't just land of snake charmers " is the right moral  and  not "only option for all dumped/rejected men is to choose another man in disguise as bride".

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Hydra and Raktavija - Self-Cloning experts

Hydra - In greek mythology, hydra was a multiheaded snake slayed by Hercules as part of his Twelve labours.
Hydra and earthworm had one thing in common. You cut one head of hydra, then you get two heads.
Hercules along with his cousin, won hydra in his battle by chopping the head and burning the torso with sword dipped in hydra's poisionous blood.

Raktavija - One of Asuras had acquired a boon from Brahma by penance, which was, for every drop of blood a new self of him was to be born.
So, battle with him was almost impossible. He had too many duplicates of him. So, there came Kali- scary avatar of Goddess shakti consort of alpha god Shiva, and with her huge tongue sucked all the blood shed by the daemon and chopped him and killed him.

Kali (Goddess of destruction) - This is an interesting avatar of goddess Durga.
Kids may get scared if they see the picture of this goddess - why wouldnt they? She sticks her tongue out and garland is made of human skulls and has reddish eyes and numberous hands and one of the hand holds a blood dripping sickle and other hand chopped head of a daemon and the hand below holds a bowl to capture the dripping blood and another hand holds a trident and the hairdo- think of ungreased untied long black hair let loose.

And one more interesting thing to note, after killing Raktavijia she danced happily coupled with rage in the graveyard and on her wounded hubby Shiva who was lying unconsicous among the corpse and she danced on top of him as well, which she didnt realise for very long time and after she realised she came back to her normal form :)
And one another version of her angry dance adds that Lord Shiva was lying among the corpse cautiously. He did so because it was the only choice left to stop her angry dance and bring her to her senses and protect the world from annihilation.

If your wife or girlfriend takes Kali avatar and performs angry dance with all yelling and screaming and if she also has any form of weapon in her hand, lie down and play dead. You will be doing that only to protect the world from annihilation.

Moral of the story : "Not just all that glitters isnt gold" but also "Not all that are blue are Smurfs or Navi from Pandora"

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Joshua and Shilavati - Souls said "stop" to sunrise/sunset

Joshua - He was Moses's assistant who took over water parting job along with rest from Moses. At Gibeaon, to win the battle he asked God to stop sun and moon to enable him to finish the battle in daylight. God yielded to his request?!.

Shilavati - Shilavathi's husband was a leper. He was playboy in his days and after being rejected by prostitute he came back to his wife and the wife still accepted him. Again one day he wanted to visit the slut who ditched him and the wife carried him on her shoulders. On his way to the cathouse, he fell into wrath of a sage Mandavya by mistake and the sage cursed the ugly guy to die before sun rise.
Shilavati used her power of fidelity and her loyality to her husband and cursed the sun not to rise. The sun didnt rise and all the gods made trip down to earth to convince her to let go off the sun. ??!!

Hindu mythology worships this lady also has one of Pativratas. A pativrata (Pati = husband, Vrata = devotion/devoted), is a virtuous woman, to whom the entire universe is her husband.

The equivalent for pathnivirata(Pathni-wife)  doesnt exist in hindu mythology. The closest you get is only Lord Rama,the only one deity who had only one wife in only one of his 10 avatars.

These stories are forcefully injected into every Indian woman's blood atleast that is what every Indian man thinks. But my hubby may differ because he gets to see only my "kali" avatar, not any of the pativiratas anytime :)

Moral of the story: If you have exam tommorrow, you shouldturn off your tv, not ask NFL to stop playing their game.


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Garuda and Icarus - Winged men who flew close to the sun

Icarus - Son of Daedalus. He and his dad both were prisoned by King Minos, after they helped Theseus to survive the labyrinth they built.To escape from prisonhood, Daedalus built two pairs of wings made out of wax and feathers for himself and his son.
Icarus was warned by his dad not to fly too close to sun, yet he did and after wax melted the wings came off and so did he.

Pic from here

Garuda - Half-man,half-eagle. Born to Kasyapa and Vinata. He and his mom became slaves to his aunt and her kids/his half-brothers-serpents after losing a bet. As part of servitude he had to take all his step-brothers(snakes) on his back and fly them close to sun, one day he flew too close and all the snakes burnt and fell down. He felt guilty and wanted to free him as well as his mom from the slavery and he took the challenge to fly to heaven and retrieve Amritha.

Moral of the story: This is one good reason why god clipped human race's wings. And clearly here Garuda took "take somebody under your wing" in complete wrong way.

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Medea/Aedon and Satyabama - Maternal filicide criminals

Medea- in greek mythology, this lady was betrayed by her partner Jason who left her for Glauce/Creusa. The deranged Medea killed her two sons born to Jason.
Continuing yesterday's story, Aedon  also killed her son Itys and served him as food to his own father Polytechnus, to avenge his betrayal- to gift her own sister Chelidon as slave to her. [Greek mommies are brutal]


Pic from here

Satyabhama- Incarnation of Bhumadevi(Goddess earth). She bore a kid with Vishnu when he was in boar avatar. As per the myth, the Vishnu avatar lifted the lady earth after the battle with Asura-Hiranyaksha in his horns which was tainted with blood of Hiranyaksha.
So, the son born Narakasura had two biological dads (Vishnu and Hiranyaksha). Since he had asura blood in him, he engaged in bad things and Krishna to save the world fought with him, and during battle he hurt Krishna and the deranged wife of Krishna killed Narakasura in rage without knowing for fact that he is indeed her son.

Medea killed her kids to avenge her cheating husband Jason, Sathyabama killed her son to avenge the wound her hubby inflicted from their son.

 If I am damn scared of my mommy, now you know why.

Moral of the story: There is one cardinal rule. Never bring(kill) kids in(to) parents fight.


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Aedon/Chelidon and Vinata/Kadruva - Winner got her sister as slave

Aedon/Chelidon: Polytechnos lost a bet to his wife Aedon and the loser was supposed to present a slave to the winner. This guy out of rage and humiliation caught hold of his wife's sister, raped her , disguised her by cutting her hair and clothing her in cheap attire and presented her before her sister as slave.She unwillingly and unknowingly served as slave to her sister Aedon till Aedon figured it out when she was lamenting. What they did in return to take revenge on the husband Polytechnos, I would tell you in another story tommorrow. :)

Vinata/Kadruva: These sisters were married to same man Kasyapa. One day they saw a white divine horse Ucchaishrava during dusk and Vinata claimed that the tail of horse was white while Kadru refuted it saying it was black. Then they entered into bet where the loser was supposed to serve as slave to the winner.
The desperate and cunning Kadru asked her sons-serpents to spit poison in the horse tail or attach themselves to the tail so that it would appear as blacktail and the snakes did so fearing curse from their momma after initial resistance.
 Next day in sunlight when the sisters planned to declare the results, it did appear black and Vinata accepted her defeat and served as slave to her sister till her son Garuda and half-brother of the serpents came and rescued her.

Moral of story: It is always safe to keep the bet prize low,whether it is penny ante or poker game.

Hermaphroditus & Brihannala - Cursed drag queens

 Hermaphroditus
He was born as a male child to Hermes and Aphrodite. During his travel to Lycia and Caria, he stopped by a pool where abeautiful nymph Salmacis resided. She immediately fell in love with the boy andtried to seduce him.
But Hermaphroditus rejected her. When he was about to takebath the lust filled Salmaci who hid behind the tree, came out and  forcefully hugged him, kissed him and wished that she should never be parted from him forever. Her wish was granted.
Hermaphroditus lost his masculinity and became a person with both sexes, ie united form of him and Salmaci-first female pedophile. 
The deranged Herma cursed the pool to turn any male who stepped into that to turn like him. His wish was granted too.

Pic from here

Brihannala - This refers to Arjuna's transgender form. During his exile period, Arjuna visited heaven to meet Indra(Zeus), and that time one of the upsaras(valkyries)-Urvasi fell in love with Arjuna and asked him to fulfill her wish. But Arjuna rejected her saying she wasnt his type. The deranged Urvasi cursed him to become "kliba"- person with both male and female parts and behavior, both phycially and mentally. He used his shortterm-curse to become a eunuch for a while, to his advantage during his exile period before the Kulushetra war(Trojan war)

On another lighter note, in Kerala,ie in one of  states in India, almost 90% of population has this naming convention. Every child will have a name formed from dad and mom like ie
Vinmathi- Vinay+Mathikutty
Hermaphroditus - Hermes+Aphrodite.
But I am not saying that state may have larger number of eunuchs.

Moral of the story : Never say "NO" to beautiful women. If you are saying "NO" to a pretty one,it does go without saying that you are indeed a eunuch.

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Jörmungandr and Ananthasesha - World bearers as a ring

Jörmungandr - in Norse mythology, Jörmungandr is a huge serpent and son of Loki and Angrboa. The serpent grew bigger and bigger and Odin threw him into the ocean. The serpent circled the earth and was able to hold his tail in his mouth. As per mythology if the serpent lets go off its tail from its mouth the world may face its doomsday.

Ananthasesha - in Hindu mythology, the world is held by four elephants resting on top of a turtle named Kurmaraja which is supported by the anatha sesha.
Ananthasesha means endless snake. And during this world wasnt round? so, the flat world was held on by four elephants on four corners. And the turtle is second avatar (more like horcrux of the immortal) of Vishnu and the snake is his brother Anantha sesha, who also serves as his bed under the ocean where Vishnu resides with his wife Lakshmi.

Moral of the story: I understand the need to get patent now not just after watching "the social network". I wonder how did people in different part of continent in those days came up with same story and same imagination when the travel was almost to impossible before Magellan?

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Kabandha and Cyclops - One eyed monsters

Cyclops                                                                                 In greek mythology, these are offsprings of Uranus and Gaia, and huge monsters with a single eye on their head.  They forged the weapon thunderbolt for Zeus. Polythemus, one of the cyclops was attacked and blinded by Odysseus during his adventure to back home to his Penelope.

Kabandha - In Ramayana, after Rama and Lakshmana chop off one-eyed, no head, no leg  monster's long arms and burn him , Kabandha resumes his celestial form of  Gandharva. Kabandha was born as a gandharva (celestial musician) named Vishvavasu. After long meditation he was gifted immortality, creator-god Brahma. As usual after the boon, he took violent and bad path and made enemies with Indra and everyone. And there he was cursed to lose his godly looks and became a huge daemon without head and legs and only eyes and mouth in his stomach.Vishvavasu after being cursed by Indra(Zeus) and attacked his weapon Vajra(thunderbolt) became Kabandha.

Rama(Odysseys) kills Kabandha(Cyclop) in course of his mission to rescue his wife Sita(Penelope) during his exile period in forest.

Moral of the story : Never fall for movie title anytime, always check the rating on the movie before you assume the story ;-)



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Ymir and Purusha - Bad guys deformed to universe

Ymir :

As per norse mythology the universe originated from chaos - Ginnungagap,  and the world was formed by the chief gods. Vili,Ve kill the giant Ymir and create universe. And the following elements are formed,flesh-dirt
maggots - dwarfs
Bones-mountains
teeth- rocks
brain - sky,clouds,
skull-heaven
Brimir and Blainn - instead of caste they found races of dwarfs


Pic from here

Purusha- In Hindu mythology, universe originated from chaos, sunyam. Purusha is a giant who was sacrified by gods to make elements of universe. Brahmins - mouth, Ksatriya-arms, Vaisyas- thighs, Sudras -feet.Mooon- mind
Sun - eyes
Breath - wind
Heaves - skull
Indra and Agni - mouth
Moral of the story: You always wondered why the world is so bad. When the universe is made with debris of bad guys, what do you expect?

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Manu and Noah - Shipwrights/Cargo experts

Noah : An old man chosen by god to build a big boat which would withstand a huge deluge and who was also assigned task to pick all animals in pairs when God decided to clean the slate and wash it with water and start afresh.
Manu : He is hindu Adam , Indian Tiki, Hindustani Aske, ie first man in the world and husband of Shraddha first woman. The term "Manudargal" meaning human race originated from this guy I guess.

One day while washing his hands he noticed a small fish and that fish pleaded Manu to take him to his home. He took the fish home and transferred it into a small pot of water. The fish started to grow and he exchanged small pot to bigger jar, and then from bigger jar to well and from well to tank and from tank to river and from river to sea and sea to ocean. That fish is first avatar of Vishnu-Matsya meaning fish.
Before he bid adieu the fish alarmed him about the upcoming deluge and suggested him to prepare for the same.
So,Manu built a huge boat and took his family and 9 types of seeds and heterogeneous pair of animals from each species.
After end of deluge, the boat was fastened with serpent as rope on to a horn of a fish by one of his sons. The world continued to exist.
If the first man knew how to build aboat, why the monkeys and humans built Adam bridge across India and Srilanka asked Varuna to hold it from suspending in Ramayana several milleniums later during the Sita rescue mission?

And as per Mayan mythology and Norse mythology the deluge is yet to happen.
Norse mythology survivors - Líf and Lífþrasir would be caucasians, asians, blacks? What do you think?

Moral of the story: If Adam/Manu/Ask/Tiki was the only man and Eve/Shraddha/Embla/Ivi was the only woman, how did we populate this world? So, Greeks alone didnt have patent on Oedipus and Electra complex?

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Apollo and Daphne/Pandhu and Madri-Love curse

Apollo and Daphne: Apollo provokes Eros(Kama) and makes fun of his age and says he is too young to play with his bow and arrows. The enraged Eros curses Apollo and to teach him a lesson attacks him with gold arrow of love with Daphne and attacks Daphne with lead arrow of hate. So, Daphne prefers to stay a spinster like Artemis forever. The love struck Apollo chases Daphne like a maniac and she runs away crying for help avoiding him. Because of the curse when Apollo tried to grab her she turns to a tree.

Pandu and Madri - Pandu(Apollo) is the father of Pandavas of Kulushetra war. During his bachelor days, he accidentally kills a sage Kindama(Eros) while he was making love with his wife in a forest where Pandu mistakes them for a deer. Before dying, the sage-Kindama curses him that if ever tries to mate with any woman anytime, he would die.

Later in his life, Pandu marries Kunti and Madri and becomes the "penta-dad" of Pandhavas by ancient IVF(boon from a sage) with different donors other than himself.

• Yudhisthira - Kunti(mommy) and Dharma(donor)
• Bhima - Kunti(mommy) and Vayu(donor)
• Arjuna - Kunti(mommy) and Indra(donor)
• Nakula & Sahadeva (Twins) - Madri(mommy) and Ashwini(donors)

One day Pandu accidentally happens to peep when Madri was taking bath, and in spur of the moment, he forgets about the curse and indulges in intercourse with Madri and that ends his life immediately. Madri, filled  with remorse , offers to burn herself instead of Kunti on Pandu's funeral pyre, the famous Sati (Wife burning herself on dead husband's pyre?) practice? Bigamy/Polygamy is justified by this where the first wife usually burns with her husband and the second one stays alive to cook and clean and take care of kids.
Nope, it doesnt happen other way, if wife happens to die, she dies alone and the pyre is lit by husband.
Moral of the story : People simply dont say "get a room" without a reason. If Kindama had done that, the tragedy could have been avoided.


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Sleipnir and Shasta - Offspring of drag queens?

Sleipnir : In norse mythology, Sleipnir is a eight-legged horse born to Svadilfari Stallion and Mare version of Loki ( Norse narada)
Gods needed help from one of disguised Hrimthurs(Asuras) to build a wall Asguard in exchange for sun, moon and Freiya with aggressive deadline. With the magic work horse (Svadilfari) the bad guy was able to complete almost 95% of task, to prevent the win and in fear of losing sun,moon gods put pressure on Loki and Loki disguised himself as sexy mare and distracted the Stallion,Svadilfari. Svadilfari and Loki, have one-night-stand and it wasnt a "stable" relationship but just a "wild night", inspite sometime later, beautiful Sleipnir was born to dragqueen-coltmama-Loki.



Shasta: The agenda of milky ocean churning process(Asgaurd wall building process) was to obtain nectar of immortality. But the devas(demi-gods) and gods didnt want Asuras(Hrimthurs) to become immortal. So after obtaining the nectar, trickster god Vishnu(Loki) disguised himself as Mohini- a beautiful fairy princess and  distracted Asuras and fed immortality nectar only to devas and cheated the Asuras who were dumbstruck with Mohini's beauty. Not only them.
Lord Shiva, the alpha god packed with lust and libido, ignored his wife Parvati or was too busy to realise that his wife was nearby and violently hugged the beautiful female form of Vishnu-Mohini and that union (Harihara) resulted in birth of divine god Shasta/Ayyanar/Ayyapan.

(Analytical part of my brain still wants to question the theory of 23 chromosomes and ovaries and stuff, but say what ...forget it..
...still..
people do you know how hard is for ladies to survive the crazy bitchy three days in a month for around 25-30 years of life only for this ? ..)

Moral of the story: Ever wondered why you always found drag-queen showgirls more attractive in Las-vegas than real ones? Now you know.

Faithful Penelope or Ramayana's Sita


Faithful Penelope:
Penelope -wife of Odysseys,waited  for her husband's return from Trojan war for 10 years rejecting all proposals from potenial suitors. In Odyssey, Odysseys was held as hostage by Calypso, she held him for seven years to have fling with him. However Odysseys managed to escape and reached Penelope and proved that he is infact Odysseys after stringing the bow and shooting it through dozen ox heads which could have been done by "one and only" Odysseys. He also slayed cyclop-one eyed monster as part of his adventure.

Ramayana's Sita :

Pic from here

Rama married Sita by stringing same kind of bow in Sita's swayamvara (the one-day bachelorette contest where the winner is awarded princess's hand in marriage?)
Rama(Odysseus) lived in exile with his wife Sita(Penelope) and his brother in forest. One day Ravaan's sister Surpanaga(Calypso) saw him and approached him and asked him to have fling with her. But Rama refused and cut her nose. Surpanaga returned to her brother Raavan and fabricated a story and manipulated her brother Raavan to confront Rama. Just make a note that Ravana is a 10-headed fellow. Imagine the rage :)

Instead of trying what Calypso did, ie keeping Odysseys as hostage, the angry Raavana kidnaped Sita and kept her in his garden in his kingdom in Srilanka and tried to have fling with her. Kidnapping a married woman is never a good idea. Even if she willingly eloped, it would be labelled as kidnapping , remember Paris kidnapping Helen?!?! Eye for eye, tooth for a tooth, Raavan should have cut Sita's nose instead of kidnapping.

But Sita refused and waited patiently for her beloved husband Rama to come and rescue her during the exile period of 14 years just like Penelope. Rama did resuce her which included an adventure where he slayed one-eyed monster Kabantha(cyclop)
 .
She rejected mighty gentleman Raavan's proposal alltime only to have her husband burn her alive to test her fidelity and sexual morality, after her return to her husband's kingdom in Ayothya.

Moral of story: Burn your wife alive to check her fidelity , if she doesnt turn to ash, she aint cheating.

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Kulushetra War or Trojan War?

Heard of term trophy wife? In hindu mythology it was literally practiced, the princess was given as trophy to the winner of the contest as consort or wife or concubine. 
The gordian knot in Draupadi's swayamvara( ancient bachelorette contest) was to string a mighty steel bow and shoot a target on the ceiling,which is the eye of a moving artificial fish, while looking at its reflection in oil below.
Perseus would have had better chance with his practice with Medusa slaying with same reflection principle.
Many Princes try to lift the bow but fail and only Karnan, foster-child of a charioteer was able to lift and proceed. But he was disqualified as unfit person to marry wealthy princess because of his birth as a mere charioteer's son. The arch enemy of Pandhavas- Kaurava Duryonthana(the mommy-flasher?) shares his kingdom and makes Karnan the king, and they become BFF.
Trojan war starts when goddess Eris sparks it by making Paris choose Helen as "the fairest" by throwing golden apple of discord  at the wedding of Peletus and Thetis (Achilles parents) , sparking a vanity-fueled dispute between Hera,Athena and Aphrodite.
However when Draupadi(Paris) chooses the winner Pandhava -Arjuna(Helen) that marriage(apple of discord) and results in Kurushetra war(Trojan war) between [Trojans]Pandhavas and Kauravas[Greeks], which lasted for centuries.

Moral of the story : Use match.com or eharmony instead ofgathering all the prospects in single room and humiliating them. Or tryspeed-dating.


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Alcmene and Ahalya - Victims of masqueraders Zeus and Indran

Alcmene - Wife of Amphitryon beautiful woman on whom Zeus had his eyes on.
One time Amphitryon left on quest against the Taphians and Teleboans.
Zeus disguised himself as Amphitryon and had intercourse with her for around 3 days.
 When Amphitryon finally returned to Thebes, Alcmene told him that he had come the night before and slept with her.
She later gave birth to Hercules, son of Zeus.

Pic from here

Ahalya - Ahalya is one of Brahma's beautiful creations. She was married to the hermit Gautama. But she remained a virgin even after marriage and lived in same house with her husband.
One day Gautama left to river ganges on his quest to take bath.The demigod Indran tried to deceive Ahalya and tried to consummate with her when Gautama was away. But she refused his proposal.

So, Indran disguised himself as Gautama and had intercourse with her.
 (Whether she cuckolded her old husband on purpose or was really a victim of disguise is still a million dollar question.)
Gautama on his return from his bathing ritual in Ganges(river) came  to know about this, immediately became infuriated.

He cursed Indra to become a mutant with 1000 vaginas(???!!) and with no balls.
Later after plead from Brahma it was reduced to 1000 eyes.
 So, the curse from have 1000 whispering-eyes was reduced to 1000 eyes.
He cursed Ahalya to become a stone because she even being a virgin was expected to distinguish the scent of her husband from another male.
 Her curse was to be absolved if Rama stepped on her during his exile in forest.

Moral of the story: Try chastity belt on your wife and carry the key with you.

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